Should Clinton and Obama Be Running Mates? The Answer is in the Stars

March 29th, 2008 in That Funny Feeling by Sascha Rothchild

There’s been much discussion of a Clinton-Obama presidential campaign — discussion, of course, that the potential VP in the scenario has disavowed — but one has to wonder: is it a good idea, according to the stars?

I’m not talking about George Clooney or America Ferrera, either.

The fact is, people have been using the constellations as a guide to human behavior for thousands of years — not to mention as fodder for a slew of cheesy pick up lines — and if astrology was good enough for the ancient Greeks, it should be good enough for Barack and Hillary.

So let’s take a look at this.

Obama was born on August 4th, 1961, which makes him a Leo.

Leos, named from the position of the lion constellation at the time of their birth, are born leaders and therefore require a following to feel fulfilled. Whether it be their significant others, their employees, or an entire nation, Leos need to be the head of the pride, and they find strength and comfort in being trusted by others. A lone Leo is not a happy Leo.

Clinton, on the other hand, was born on October 26, 1947, making her a Scorpio.

Scorpios, named such because of the Scorpius constellation, are intensely driven, constantly inquisitive and fiercely loyal. But if betrayed, they will use their stingers. Scorpios are not so much concerned with being liked as they are with being respected and taken seriously.

So far this astrology thing seems dead on.

Clearly both Obama and Clinton are dynamic, intelligent, determined politicians who are largely on the same side. But that doesn’t mean they’ll make good teammates (remember Kobe and Shaq?) So the question is, will pairing up make a roaring Leo and a stinging Scorpio stronger or weaker?

According to the astrology charts, when Leos and Scorpios join forces, they have the ability to create an unstoppable team. The Leo, who loves to be loved, gains confidence in the Scorpio’s loyalty. The Scorpio, relishing in the Leo’s trust, lets down their usual deadly guard and a strong bond is formed. But regardless of who’s President and who VP, there has to be a feeling of equality between the two. If not, the two will fight each other to retain control, and therefore nothing will get accomplished. No one wants to be overshadowed, but Leos and Scorpios are especially possessive of their own work, and both want credit where credit is due.

Leos are ruled by the sun, which means they are charming, charismatic and emanate warmth and light. Sound like someone we know? But this charm can sometimes border on egomania. Lions, in other words, are beautiful creatures, but can spend way too much time admiring their manes in the mirror.

Scorpios, on the other hand, are ruled by the planets Mars and Pluto, so they are always poised for battle and thrive on confrontation. They can be abrasive and defensive, and like in the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog, their excuse for attack is always that it’s in their “nature.” The good news is that if they lose a battle, Scorpios have a strong sense of hope and rebirth, which keeps them optimistic and moving forward.

As long as they are in agreement, a Leo and Scorpio make an impenetrable pair. But if they disagree and lose sight of the greater battle at hand, they get stuck in an endless power struggle. The Scorpio will never back down because it is a sign of weakness and the Leo will never back down if only to punish the Scorpio for being so stubborn.

Scorpio and Leo are also both fixed signs, which mean that both Obama and Clinton are relentlessly goal-driven and persistent. (Still don’t believe this astrology nonsense is relevant in politics? Well, consider the fact that 33 out of 42 U.S. Presidents have had fixed signs.) This is all good news for their partnership but it also means that they can each be stuck in their respective ways and resistant to any change, which is not so good for running a country.

So it all comes down to this: if the winner and loser can put aside all past competition and truly move forward as a team, the combination of a Leo and Scorpio will be unbeatable. But if there is a shred of resentment, they will end up tearing each other down instead of building this country up.

And if they don’t believe in any of this hooey and still need running mate advice, they can always ask a Magic 8-Ball.

– Sascha Rothchild